A Dutchman Looks at Danish

Not what you'd expect, but Danish is very hard to understand for me. Maybe it's the many words that look familiar but mean something completely different, like 'ikke,' - 'no' or 'not' in Danish, but childish Dutch for 'I, me' - "ikke, ikke, en de rest kan stikke" - 'me, me, and all others can [suffocate] go to hell'
Another problem is that Dutch and English, and in a lesser degree German have many words for common items from Latin, from the Roman occupation 2000 years ago, like 'tafel/table' and 'gordijn/curtain.'
In another life I had to look at a Danish high-school chemistry book, and in 'high school' I was very good in chemistry, but the Danish was mostly a mystery to me.

Ik kwam wat rare zinnetjes tegen in een Deens taalgidsje:

Danish line: Jeg taler ikke Dansk
What it makes me think of: Jij moet betalen want ik ben Deens
What that would be in English: You'll have to pay because I'm Danish
Real meaning of Danish line: I don't speak Danish
Correct Dutch translation: Ik spreek geen Deens

Danish line: Hvad er klokken?
What it makes me think of: Had-ie een klok?
What that would be in English: Did he have a clock?
Real meaning of Danish line: Do you know what time it is?
Correct Dutch translation: Weet U hoe laat het is?

Danish line: Hvar kommer finden fra?
What it makes me think of: Waar vind je kommer, vrouw?
What that would be in English: Where did you find misery, woman?
Real meaning of Danish line: Where (what direction) is the wind coming from?
Correct Dutch translation: Van welke kant komt de wind? ('kommer' is a bit old-fashioned)

Danish line: Har de et andet bord?
What it makes me think of: Heb je wat aan dat bord?
What that would be in English: Is that plate of any use to you?
Real meaning of Danish line: Would you have another table?
Correct Dutch translation: Heeft U een ander tafeltje? (in een restaurant)

ik stuurde dit naar een Zweed die Nederlands leert, en hij stuurde mij deze woorden terug: Ik wil jou ook bedanken voor de ´grapjes´. Er zijn wel een paar woorden in het zweeds die betekent iets leuk in het nederlands en andersom. Bijvoorbeeld: ´Klant´ betekend in zweeds ´sukkel´ ´Cykel´ is uitgesproken zoals ´sukkel´ in nederlands en betekend ´fiets´